NOT WHAT'S SAID, BUT HOW

The Rev. Dana Prom Smith, S.T.D., Ph.D. (10/16/08)

When human beings communicate with one another, they simultaneously transfer content and reinforce the terms of their relationships. Surprisingly enough, content is about ten percent of the communication while reinforcing the relationship is about ninety percent. This means if we pay too much attention to content, we may miss the point.

When politicians trot out their economic programs, health care proposals, foreign policies, the issue is not the content, but the manner in which those programs, proposals, and policies are delivered, such as gestures, grimaces, rolled-eyes, tones of voice, and even types of words. A pointed finger carries a message as well as an open hand. A grimace and a smile are messages.

On television's split screen with the mute button pressed, two radically different messages were conveyed to the American public in this year's televised debates. Obama smiles when McCain attacks him. Big message. He doesn't get hurt. Who wants a president who gets hurt?

McCain snarls, grimaces, rolls his eyes. Who wants a president who gets angry when someone disagrees or even criticizes him?

Policies always change with the exigencies of the moment, such as unregulated Republicans nationalizing banks. Anyone bound up in policy proposals misses the point because they're content. The issue is how it's said, not what's said. That's the measure of the politician.

We don't need another angry, ideological president who's convinced he's right and is contemptuous and abusive of those who disagree with him. We need a steady, unflappable hand at the helm.